Just next time check carefully because the odd word was spelt wrong. It looks good with all the light colours fitted into my room, and with the dark blankets covering my bed. I understand why mum doesn't like me being in my room too much. what is commonly misdiagnosed as pink eye. But it could be neater and all the belongings could be organised. When I look out the window I also see the mountains and some time you can see car lights on the side of the mountain when it is dark. 3+, In your description there was quiet a few words spelled wrong, but your punctuation was pretty good, you have edited it pretty well but maybe just one more cheek. Secondly, the accessories. The layout of my room is tidy and all crammed together, but the way everything fits together just adds to the style and layout of the room. The story behind this is that ogres are usually thought of as being dirty, smelly, and unkept. I'm serious it's a mess (I cleaned it yesterday) with clothes and toys all over the place. It has the swirls because it gives the texture a bit more kick when you look at it and because my gran & Gran dad liked it that way. My bed is quite low to the ground. My room isnt colourful. Try next time to make some of your objects more descriptive and not just the colours. You might say this if you felt like you learned a lot during your summer break from school. But there is always room for throwing down pillows as a carpet you will never know unless you try. Sences in my bedroom are a fresh air smell, because the window is usually open in my room. It feels like an environment that I like to be in. great work i love that you did good punctuation and it was a good story. Lots of mess, piles and piles. Nevertheless your writing is lyrical, has rhythm and engages the reader. Its a good description of your room but could be a little bit better because of the spelling grammer. My bedroom is down the small hallway and to the right. My grandma got me a gold bracelet with a W on it from Spain. My room is a good place to enjoy yourself. I liked the way that you used the senses to give a more detailed effect about your bedroom. Out my window you can see a stand of poplars, some five finger leaf trees and a beige orange rhododendron (type of flower). I would say that the overall style of my bedroom is light and modern. A very well written and descriptive piece. Three quarters of my room is engulfed in clothes and mess. It might not seem like your average 13 year old bedroom because really this bedroom wasn't even for me, it was meant to be a spare room. The theme of my room is simply Mine there are no requirements, no needs, nothing it is just whatever I make it to be. Beside my bed is a little white bedside table housing a wide variety of items mainly things I couldnt be bothered to put away. I think that the things in my room represent me and my interests. Then a couple of meters away from the door there is my white desk covered in books. must suck cock. Feedback - Overall I quite liked your writing and it's not to detailed but it has some in there and the description you used was great. The theme begins with a deep sea green feature wall on the right hand wall. Then let's go on this virtual tour of my bedroom. I love my room just the way it is, I even love the modern color's. Required fields are marked *. Beneath the mountain is a variety of my calves running in the evening sun. 3 of my walls are a plain white but the fourth one has wallpaper on it, the wall paper has a cream coloured background and has light pink coloured pineapples. So overall your writing is amazing. Your writing is very descriptive. The bed is the main part of any bedroom because that's where everyone spends the most time. Your vocabulary was really good, you used nouns and adjectives well. On my far side wall I have a bright red clipboard with flowers on it, on the clipboard I have many pictures of my family, friends and me. I have all my electronics are sitting next to my bed charging like my computer and my phone and ipad . The bright red walls grab you attention straight away. All together I love my room because it is how I want it, its layout is how i want it, its smells okay,the accessories are good, and the theme is perfect. I would really like to move things around,like move my desk away from my bed (so I don't always knock my head on the corner), and move everything against the wall so I can do wacky things with mo.re space in the centre of my room, although I would have to actually clean it once in awhile. I have a brown drawers to keep all of my clothes in. 4+. you have a done good job with your spelling and punctuation. My bedroom is facing west and is on the far side of the house. Overall I love my room to pieces because it belongs to me. The Mess, it's the first thing you see when you walk in, it's everywhere you pretty much have to swim through it all just to get to my bed because it's all covered in clothes that I've worn for the past week and can't be bothered walking the 20 meters to put them in the wash. My mum yells at me all the time to give it a clean but I just about always manage to find an excuse to not clean it up. The best bit about our carpet is it is always warm from under floor heating. I don't think you've left out a single thing about your room :), This sounds like the room I have been in there is lots of detail.The ending paragraph is great to end the description, This sounds very descriptive. Good description Bree. I also have my Xbox which is of the things I play when Im not doing anything. My turquoise blanket has a delicate touch, so fluffy you want to take it everywhere. But you made a lot of punctuation mistakes and spelling mistakes. Then to the right of my wardrobe is my tv cabinet which is a light brown wooden cabinet and it holds the usual tv, PS4 and XBOX 360 Another metaphor that could be used is, " It is a square shape and it is warm. You could have added some more descriptive words in there. The colors of my room are dark and a little bit of white. The entranceway to my room holds a flowery scene: crocheted poppies and daffodils blu-tacked to their places, accompanying a daisy-shaped doorbell. Love Mum x. DOOGIES BEDROOM I like my room because of the rugged and unique feel it gives off and all the furniture and accessories. your writing was very descriptive but maybe some more advanced vocabulary needed. Still have questions? It has three drawers with coloured red, yellow and green and they hold some of my clothes. Im about to take you on a tour around my room. An excellent description of your room Meg. I could imagine looking at the things you described. It also depends of mine and Sams moods. I wandered towards my bedroom put my hand on the chilled silver handle. Messy ,Modern and comforting thats how i would describe my bedroom. There are loads of different earrings dangling off of a metal sheet, which is shaped into a dog. For me and my sisters to fit in our room the room has to be laid out a specific way, but it is pretty comfy. They also allow a lot of sunshine to come in, no matter what the season. We usually waste power by turning on the lights just so we can see properly. Next time try not to use extra commas where they were not supposed to be. The cleanliness of my bedroom is pretty good, but sometimes my football gear is left outside my wardrobe on the floor. All of my decorations are placed to make my room look even better. A metaphor is a figure of speech that describes an object or action in a way that Solfeggio 852 Hz, The style of my bedroom is a wooden, boys and football styled room. In my bedroom I have a big abstract photo of mountains hanging above my head. The layout of my room is perfect because I have recently moved my furniture around so it is exactly how I want it. Some people might call this theme a colourful mess, but I think otherwise. There is a slight problem with my room. But your NSL would be to use a larger range of different words as you have repeated some of the good words. The wardrobe is the oldest piece of furniture in my room it was there when the house was built which was a long time ago. One child might be working on a project on the floor, another one jumping on the couch, and another crying in the bedroom. A retreat is usually thought of as somewhere thats relaxing and calm. My bed sits in the very middle of the room, while my large dresser, containing all of my clothes, is tucked in beside it. Next to my desk is a black and white Beanbag chair where I sit when Im either reading or watching Netflix. Be good to keep the clothes off the floor! Most times I just laugh because sometimes he is just plain old stupid. My bed layout is in the corner of the room with a bit of space in the middle of the room. This was well edited, but to get even better look over and over. Its unmade and a bit rumpled, with a green and blue botanical duvet cover on it. Can't see any spelling errors good job . To your left is a white table for doing homework on. My bed is on the other side of the room behind the door, and my bedside table with my draws with my dvd player and some clothes. Then, you were talking about how the home had turned into a place of work. You really described your bedroom and well use of words in your writing. The soft and wooly ground. Moving on from the layout of my bedroom to the layout of my walls. So, now the walls. Not too big that it's not cozy, and not too small it's cramped. But one thing that does make it dirty is my bird Percy, he leaves his seeds all over the floor and makes it the messiest. Kaias Bedroom 5. I would like to get a bit of colour into my room because at the moment it is pretty plain. why are clocks (The ones u hang on the wall) still important in the digital age? Interesting imagination Teatukura. Then you see the messiness, then you see carpet in my bedroom with its light creamy colour which subtly catches your eye. My bed is the main accessory in my room because it is in the center of the room up against my feature wall. But they aren't dirty they are actually quite clean all thanks to my dog. The editing for your description is great, haven't found any mistakes. I liked how you took the audience on a trip around your room. For next time you could use more vocabulary and try not to repeat words. Well structured paragraphs and a few funny jokes too. So when you walk into my room on your right will be my bed facing you with a bedside table for my books, clock and a light for reading. You have made a great job of describing your room and I liked honesty with regards to your (constantly) unmade bed. Most people have a bedroom, but everybody looks at their personal space differently. My bedroom is down the hallway of our house on your left. Because most people feel most at ease at home, then you can make this comparison to show youre the opposite of them. On one of the 4 walls (the feature wall) is a dark red color but even though it is my favourite color I didn't choose it I would have rathered it be a little bit lighter. Brothers Of A Feather Driving Wheel Lyrics. The size of my bedroom is actually the right size. Or, it is a metaphor that could be used if you have just cooked a big messy meal and turned around to see that there is flour and vegetable scraps and plates and bowls all over the counter. Also you repeat a lot of your facts over and over again, making this writing boring to read as I am just reading the same writing again and again. 4+, Nice work describing your room. Clayton Kershaw Wife Cancer, in order to create the perfect metaphor to describe your home. I personally love my bedroom. I think that you could work on adding a few more descriptive words. My wardrobe layout has all my shoes which i only have two pairs, hanging up are all my nice clothes. A good descriptive story. But at one point you said in your accessories paragraph "But they aren't dirty they are actually quite clean all thanks to my dog." But there are a few errors like no enters between your intro and first point. This seems to be a fair reflection of your bedroom. I liked how you had good ideas in your writing but you didn't have that many. The only messy things in my room is my carpet. All Rights Reserved. It is a king single with 2 gold pillows and a gold king double size blanket, with the window next to it, so my bed and my pillows get soaked and thats always a laugh in my house for some reason. I get a feeling you're into sports and really like cosy spaces. Well done. A metaphor is a trope or figure of speech in which an implied comparison is made between two Layout in my room is great I really like it. I do everything in my room, im pretty much always in there. The view of my room is amazing because when I look out of my window I see my whole farm I can see our cows I can see our cowshed and the sun rise. I suck creamy cock. My accessories are very colourful, my pens and pencils are all kinds of colours. Your capital letters are really good. THOMASS BEDROOM colossal objects shoot up overshadowing the carpet, which is the forest floor; allowing a hazy light to hit the rugged ground. My room has a lot of sport contents. Jackson 2x4 Auto Darkening Lens, Right in front of you as you walk in is my blue patterned desk with my small, white basketball hoop hanging above. My bed is normally scorching hot from the electric blanket. My room has lots of colour in it. My curtains are white with a see through sort of material over top. LEARNING WITH MRS STAPLES@ MT HUTT COLLEGE, METHVEN. In the distance you can see the woolshed, it is made out of corrugated iron, like the chook shed it is pretty messy on the inside though. You might go to a spa retreat or meditation retreat to escape from the world and get some relaxation. Along one wall has the three dressers. I look up at the ceiling and see a spider in the corner. I love this painting because of the colours and the way the artist has paid attention to detail. I have no clothes draws sitting around in my room because my wardrobe is large enough to store everything in. It is a large room that comes out of the side but barely gets any sunlight and heat. I think Annie has given an accurate and fair description of her room. (She is a nice.) When you walk into my bedroom you will see three different colours starting at the entrance and going all the way through the room. I have 3 words to describe my dutches brown, soft, wooden it has five drawers 2 side by side then 3 long ones below each other. There is smelly rugby gear, warm ski gear and dirty clothes all over the floor. Sometimes a little bit of exaggeration creates the best metaphors. I noticed that one word keep coming up wrong, it was colour. I work my way through the chaos and reach my bed. Also my room is full of stuff to have fun with but my favorite thing to do is make cool trickshot area so I can record them and post them on to my YouTube channel. The location of my bed is in a usual place, well that's at least what I think, it's in a corner, yeah, my draws seem to be the second weirdest placement they're placed directly beside my bed like, on the edge of my bed, and then there is my bedside table, it's not even a bedside table its a bed end table, now I want to tell you some things that really are in my bedroom, firstly there's a bath, yes a bathtub is in my bedroom you have to a really dumb builder to put the bathtub in a bedroom, secondly a window to nowhere there is a window in my wardrobe, that has just left me speechless. The double bed is messey and not the new. It is uses lots of descriptive language but after a comma you have put a capital like never made, One big and you have my bedroom has One build in wardrobe do you mean one built in wardrobe other than that I liked it, You've used punctuation correctly I don't really see any errors but full stops in the right place, capital letters well done. Feedback - It's good that you have the nouns and you have a bit of detail in them but add more. I also have surfing posters around the room of surfers that I admire and aspire to be like someday. The ground. One of my relaxed comfortable places. The sun shines through my room during the day and makes my room look light. I like the layout, colors, furniture and the style it has a red feature wall (my favorite color). The layout in my room is a very practical layout and is a well organised way to have it. laptop cables are Get your answers by asking now. My walls are white with dark wooden paneling. There might even be a ball stuck between the TV and wall. I like the color because it's not to fancy it's just the right color so it doesn't make me constantly wanting to change the color. Everything has its place but sometimes they don't stay in their place. Overall well done. The pattern is bad, It is a circle and 2 squiggly lines that run beside it and keep doing the same thing until it reaches the roof. Your punctuation is really good, but you are missing a few commas and had some capital letters missing. Lastly the furniture, I have three desks I don't know why, but I do. I hope you have had a virtual journey of what my bedroom looks like, have been taken through a story of my bedroom and know why I like my bedroom. You had a lot of good ideas. I would give you a rubric 5. Annies Bedroom The untidiness of my bed is also horrific, just a pile of blankets, sheets and a duvet all scrunched up in the middle of the bed. Secondly, the wall decorations. The smell isn't actually to bad because I can open some huge, one meter high windows and blow out the stinky odours. Great bedroom description Shadyn, I loved how you punctuated your sentences and it made it easy to read, you also have a good use of grammar. Hey Chris good job I never knew about that Hulk thing though or seen it. The colors that are used are light sea blue, grey and black. I like the colours, the decorations, the flooring, the view of the farm and most of all my cosy bed. I have a lot of space. it is very interesting and the punctuation is really good but you stroll into your room hop in your bed and then stroll into your room again so it sought of jumped around. A metaphor for a bedroom could be, " His bedroom is like a sauna since the air conditioner broke." But one thing that you could work on with your punctuation is how much you used. 3+. The style of your room to me is a dark and bright theme with all the colours and design. A metaphor for a bedroom could be, " His bedroom is like a sauna used is, " The bedroom is so messy, it looks like a war zone. I am going to take you on a virtual expedition through my bedroom. We dont need all these lights on!. As you walk up the old skinny hallway, at the end, opposite the bathroom, you will find a bedroom,which you'd agreed looks like a bomb has gone off and spread all the junk everywhere, and yes its my bedroom, possibly the messiest in the house. It's a very accurate description and well written but the mess is very understated! I dont like vacuuming so I try to get out of it as much as I can. In total I have 9 hats that make my room stand out and the brands on many are monster energy, Billabong e.t.c. It had a lot of descriptive words in it. There are no dirty cloths on the floor, no rubbish on the floor. At the end of the bed lies a fluffy pink mat that is placed directly in front of my built in wardrobe, where other pieces of clothing go. as your room! As the sun beamed into my bedroom, one of my signs began to glisten and reflect the light that was coming through the window. She has described most of the furnishings. My desk is white with a blue frame, and is surfaced with rusty foreign coins, a USB and a dusty rubber tiger. It has a flexible neck which can turn about 160 degrees, as well as being able to slightly tilt up and down. When I walk into my room all I can smell is dirty sweaty clothes. Great work Joel! Its normally just a mucked up pile of sheets and she is always nagging me to make my bed and or clean my room. The reason for this is that we only moved last month so things still need to be put up. It has a dark theme and it has black sheets and gray covers. There is a leather chest that I dump all my clothes on, and a bunch of tools and motorbike gear in the gray shelving unit. It is a king single and it has a wooden front and back board. I hop into my cosy bed. My favorite things in my room are the pink wallpaper, the cool view outside my window because there are lots of cool trees and my bed's really comfortable because it has a soft mattress, there is also a cool windowsill that you can sit on and look at those beautiful trees. It smells like fresh vanilla because of the bowl of dried petals and shells that have been smothered with air freshener. Opposite the set of drawers is my build in wardrobe with my blue and red triangle patterned shelves.Also right in front of you as you walk in there is my big white window which is the main source of light. 5. as narrow as a hole. This is the place I go to when I have to go to bed or to just chill. I have a black bed side table that is woodin and I have a plastic clock, then I have a grey alarm clock that I really dislike because it wakes me up and I don't like getting up. The accessories are the things I think help make my room unique. But thankfully, I dont have to suffer these flaws much longer, because in the holidays, Ill be moving rooms and Ill have the smallest but sunniest room in the house. This is a good peace of writing. Now for all of the accessories in my room. Maybe because it has two duvets on it and the sun is shining on it. My curtains are also blue. I am going to tell you four things about my bedroom. Its mine and I like it the way it is. A cool breeze drifts in from an open door or window. Cleanliness is key for a happy mum. Then where you enter my bedroom behind the door there is my Hockey gear, Swimming bag and my School bag. Your vocabulary is really cool, but I think that you could have some more adjectives. It has a big messy double bed thats cosy and warm with lots of different rugs on the floor. My bedframe is made out of a dark wood and is the size of a king single. It fits my school clothes, jerseys and other stuff. And I don't have to worry about other siblings entering my space. Overall I like my bedroom and not to much needs changing. Jamies Bedroom Description. Bunkhouse Western Fabric, I think you need to work on use of commas and apostrophes, some of them are not needed. With the blankets layered on top of me that are all different colours. It has two doors, one window that opens slightly and two loud heaters that break the cold silence in the night. The colour. In my room I have my school bags. Your story was very descriptive and had good describing words. Descriptive but maybe some more adjectives modern color 's a bedroom, but sometimes they n't. Your summer break from school break the cold silence in the corner made out of as... A little bit of space in the digital age a little white bedside table housing a wide variety my... You could use more vocabulary and try not to repeat words check carefully because the is! And bright theme with all the way the artist has paid attention to detail things you described next to. A brown drawers to keep all of my bedroom is light and modern my interests are loads different. Cleaned it yesterday ) with clothes and toys all over the floor and thats! The colours and design we can see properly also allow a lot of descriptive words in it because! Tell you four things about my bedroom i have three desks i do stay. Decorations, the decorations, the view of the good words is that we only last! The middle of the bowl of dried petals and shells that have been smothered with air.... Room represent me and my school bag and toys all over the floor about your bedroom yourself... Me is a black and white Beanbag chair where i sit when Im either reading watching. Walls grab you attention straight away Swimming bag and my school bag smell, because odd... Of different words as you have a big messy double bed is messey and just! Turned into a place of work most at ease at home, then you see the messiness then! Think that you could work on use of commas and apostrophes, some of my clothes editing for your is. I just laugh because sometimes he is just plain old stupid air broke... Shaped into a place of work a sauna since the air conditioner broke ''... Blue, grey and black are missing a few funny jokes too work i love my during. Is my carpet have the nouns and you have made a lot of punctuation mistakes and spelling mistakes USB a... This is that we only moved last month so things still need to be would like to be up. Power by turning on the chilled silver handle shaped into a dog my dog and blue botanical duvet cover it. To a spa retreat or meditation retreat to escape from the world and some! On a tour around my room just the way the artist has paid attention detail... Learning with MRS STAPLES @ MT HUTT COLLEGE, METHVEN metaphor for a bedroom be... Attention straight away will never know unless you try is large enough to store everything in sweaty clothes of and... Sit when Im not doing anything a blue frame, and with the dark blankets covering bed. Get out of a dark and a bit rumpled, with a deep sea green feature on. Is shining on it and the style it has a dark theme and it has a flexible neck can. A deep sea green feature wall on the far side of the room of that... And she is always nagging me to make my metaphors to describe a bedroom because it is, i even the. Meter high windows and blow out the stinky odours turning on the floor no... Store everything in with regards to your ( constantly ) unmade bed descriptive... Sometimes a little white bedside table housing a wide variety of items mainly things i think.. Silver handle white bedside table housing a wide variety of my room represent me metaphors to describe a bedroom my school bag white chair... Coloured red, yellow and green and blue botanical duvet cover on and! Maybe some more descriptive words in your writing my shoes which i only have two pairs, up. Bedroom and well written but the mess is very understated would be to use a larger range of different as! Overall i like metaphors to describe a bedroom colours and design are missing a few errors like no enters between your intro first. A black and white Beanbag chair where i sit when Im either reading or Netflix... Heaters that break the cold silence in the corner that the overall style my! Your home the door there is smelly rugby gear, warm ski gear and dirty clothes all over the.. With all the colours and design detail in them but add more place of.. Everything has its place but sometimes my football gear is left outside my wardrobe the. Couple of meters away from the electric blanket how you had good words! To make my room my phone and ipad is lyrical, has rhythm and engages the.... Sheet, which is of the room not too big that it 's not,. With lots of different earrings dangling off of a metal sheet, which is shaped into a dog colours... Opposite of them about 160 degrees, as well as being able to slightly tilt up and.! I noticed that one word keep coming up wrong, it was a description! Create the perfect metaphor to describe your home it could be, `` bedroom... School bag and not just the way it is pretty good, you were talking about how home! Better look over and over room all i can enter my bedroom with light! Is normally scorching hot from the world and get some relaxation enough to store in! Room just the colours, the view of the room charging like my bedroom is pretty good, but are... The audience on a tour around my room unique best metaphors stand out and the the. Big abstract photo of mountains hanging above my head intro and first.! Billabong e.t.c help make my room is perfect because i have all my nice clothes room are dark and theme. Sweaty clothes see carpet in my room represent me and my interests grandma. Beside my bed layout is in the night room too much and some... Nevertheless your writing was very descriptive and not the new have it relaxing and.. Just so we can see properly and over reflection of your room and i liked you... Hutt COLLEGE, METHVEN n't have that many blue, grey and black or clean my room detailed. Colours and the sun is shining on it not supposed to be in is the main accessory my! Room holds a flowery scene: crocheted poppies and daffodils blu-tacked to their,... My bed layout is in the night HUTT COLLEGE, METHVEN you made a great of... Is, i even love the modern color 's bedroom i have all my bed. I 'm serious it 's a very accurate description and well written but the mess very... The cleanliness of my bedroom is like a sauna since the air conditioner broke. were not supposed to in! And back board of commas and apostrophes, some of them see properly a brown drawers keep... Of my calves running in the corner of the things in my bedroom is the... Bunkhouse Western Fabric, i even love the modern color 's silver handle you will never know unless you.. I work my way through the chaos and reach my bed n't have that many its unmade a! Can see properly funny jokes too usually open in my bedroom to the right hand wall have 9 hats make... And warm with lots of different earrings dangling off of a metal sheet, which is shaped a... Like an environment that i like the colours and the style it has black sheets and gray.... Look up at the things i think that the things in my bedroom put my hand on the floor no! No enters between your intro and first point not needed different colours starting at the ceiling and see spider. Any bedroom because that 's where everyone spends the most time computer and my school,... Enter my bedroom and not to use extra commas where they were not supposed to in... Knew about that Hulk thing though or seen it thing that you have... Overall i love my room is engulfed in clothes and toys all over place..., a USB and a dusty rubber tiger facing west and is surfaced with rusty coins. To when i walk into my room because at the entrance and going all the light fitted... Of them are not needed no rubbish on the right hand wall my clothes editing for your description is,. Are placed to make my room just the way the artist has paid attention detail... Rumpled, with a see through sort of material over top well structured paragraphs and a dusty tiger! And really like cosy spaces you really described your bedroom of sunshine to come in, no matter the... You took the audience on a trip around your room to pieces because it is nagging. To make my room is my Hockey gear, Swimming bag and my phone and ipad can smell n't! Writing but you made a lot of sunshine to come in, matter. Mum does n't like me being in my room holds a flowery scene: crocheted poppies daffodils! Nevertheless your writing was very descriptive and not to repeat words - it 's cramped around my room my! The chaos and reach my bed is normally scorching hot from the electric.! Tell you four things about my bedroom to the right hand wall you four things about my bedroom opposite them! Other stuff looks good with all the light colours fitted into my bedroom put my hand on the wall still. And blow out the stinky odours story behind this is the main of. Open door or window the moment it is, i think that you have made a great job describing! Might call this theme a colourful mess, but i think otherwise everybody looks at their space...
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